Chris Brown’s “No Guidance” Song Review

Hello, I’m MusiCommentator, and it’s time to welcome Drake back into this blog. We haven’t talked about his crappy music for a while, so now seems like as good a time as ever!

Let’s take it back, though. To call Drake’s music crappy is incorrect (in my opinion). He has some good stuff. If I learned anything from my reviews of “God’s Plan“, “Nice For What“, and “Scorpion“, it’s that he can be good when he tries. The only problem is: he doesn’t try. I mean, “Nice For What” was a really good song, and you can tell there was effort put into that, but for “God’s Plan” and most of “Scorpion”, it was easy to tell how lazily the songs were thrown together, making them significantly lower in quality. And I mean, he’s always racking up hits no matter what he puts out, so it makes sense that he isn’t trying that hard to make good music. While I haven’t talked about him on this blog that much yet, I would say the same for Chris Brown. He has some songs I genuinely enjoy like “Look At Me Now”, “Party”, and “Pills & Automobiles”, but when he releases albums that are bloated beyond belief filled with the most mediocre material, it’s hard to call him a good artist. And again, why should he try? He has had some of the worst PR a musician can have and still always has a song on the charts, so why should he be trying super hard? However, these two are powerhouses of the R&B scene and they both know that, so maybe putting them together will make a good song. Well, let’s check out Drake’s first verse on “No Guidance” to see what they have in store for us.

“Ayy
Trips that you plan for the next whole week
Bands too long for a n*gga so cheap
And your flex OD, and your sex OD
You got it, girl, you got it (Ayy)
You got it, girl, you got (Yeah)”

Just from these first few lines alone I can already tell that this is the “not trying very hard” version of Drake. Firstly, these lyrics are so boring and basic that I don’t even know what to say about them. How am I supposed to comment on something that’s basically void of all thought and effort? Also, his flow and singing on here is incredibly uninspired. When I first heard it, I almost thought he was using the same flow from “Don’t Matter To Me” in the first few seconds. Like, come on dude, try harder.

“You just took it off the lot, no mileage”

If you’re buying a new car, I’d HOPE it would have no mileage. Otherwise you should get your money back.

“Way they hittin’ you, the DM lookin’ violent”

Um…wow. You’re really going to talk about girls being beat up in a love song? (Well, this is a Chris Brown track, so maybe that’s accurate). And I know all the Drake stans will say “He’s not saying ‘hit’, he’s using a play on words with the phrase ‘hit ON‘. You suck MusiCommentator, I’m not reading your stuff ever again”. Yeah, the correct is way to say the phrase is “hit ON“, not just “hit”. You can’t say “oh I hit a girl last night” and expect people to understand you were flirting with her. To say that would just be tasteless, just like this lyric.

I’m done with Drake, let’s just go to Chris Brown.

“No nine to five, put the work in”

Wow, what creative wordplay. You really are a master of words, Chris.

“Flaws and all, I love ’em all, to me, you’re perfect”

Could you be more generic?

“I don’t wanna play no games, play no games”

This is the start of the pre-chorus, and…wait a minute, don’t you already have a song with “play no games” in the chorus? Yeah, it’s with Big Sean, on his song named “Play No Games”. Are you seriously THIS lazy, Chris?

“F*ck around, give you my last name (Oh)
Know you tired of the same damn thing
That’s okay ’cause, baby, you”

Yawn.

“You got it, girl, you got it (Oh, ooh, ayy)
You got it, girl, you got it (Got it)”

So the lines from “I don’t wanna play no games, play no games” to “That’s okay ’cause, baby, you” are considered the pre-chorus of the song, making this “You got it” refrain the chorus. That makes this one of the worst and least-thought-out choruses of 2019. I’d also like to point out right now that this song has eight writers.

“You the only one I’m tryna make love to, pickin’ and choosin’
They ain’t really love you, runnin’ games, usin’
All your stupid exes, they gon’ call again
Tell ’em that a real n*gga steppin’ in
Don’t let them n*ggas try you, test your patience
Tell ’em that it’s over, ain’t no debatin’ (Uh)
All you need is me playin’ on your playlist
You ain’t gotta be frustrated”

Wow, this boring. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but let’s go back to Drake.

“Play no games (No)
Freaky (Freaky)”

So you’re going to steal from Big Sean’s song, too? Got it.

“You a lil’ hot girl, you a lil’ sweetie (No, sweet)
Sweet like Pearland, sweet like Peachtree (Like that)”

Now, the debate on who and who isn’t “corny” in hip-hop–and what “corny” really means–has been going on for a long time. Rappers like Eminem, Logic, Hopsin, and Joyner Lucas are always thrown into this conversation, but I have a question: why aren’t we calling Drake corny when he has lines like “Sweet like Pearland, sweet like Peachtree” on popular songs?

“I can tell you crazy, but shit kind of intrigue me”

I’m guessing that’s how you had your son.

“Seen it on the ‘gram, I’m tryna see that shit in 3D, mami”

Drake saying “mami” will always make me cringe.

“Good to have me on your side, I ain’t sayin’ that you need me”

Ah yes, you still have to appeal to your independent women fanbase, so you HAVE to make sure to mention that she doesn’t NEED a man.

“‘Cause I don’t wanna (No) play no games, play no games”

Yeah, and I don’t want to review this song anymore.

Overall, this is what happens when you put two artists in a room that are too big to care about the quality of their music anymore. I never mentioned it before, but the beat on here is so sullen and boring. The sample used in it is okay, but everything else is trying way too hard to be moody that it falls flat on its face. Chris Brown’s singing…is fine. It’s just normal Chris Brown vocals, but Drake sounds like he doesn’t want to be here at all. If his verse was a minute longer, I guarantee he would have fallen asleep while recording. And as I judged up above, the lyrics go from bland to borderline offensive, making this whole song just one big pile of crap. This is an easy 1 out of 5 for me. Do you agree?

Thank you for reading my “No Guidance” song review. If you liked this review, make sure to follow my website, Twitter, and Instagram, like this post, and be sure to check in to read my future reviews. Also, if you have something you want to see me review, tell me in the comments. Until then, keep on listening to good music! I know I will.